There is nothing more devestatingly sad than celebrating a birthday, my wife's, with the news that your son and his partner are seperating!!!
Josh turned up with our grandson Lewis (15 month old) to the family lunch and when asked where Rebecca (partner) was, we were told that she would not be coming and that she was leaving him and taking Lewis.
No chance of reconciliation and no chance of talking to any mediators etc. she just wants out.
You see other people split apart and you are always concerned but to watch Josh over the past couple of weeks is the worst thing that has ever happened in my life, worse than the scare of cancer. If she wanted to hurt him this is the way to destroy him.
He has moved back in with us for now and last weekend he had Lewis for the two days. It was wonderful and so sad at the same time.
I have not cried in years (since mum died) but I find myself sleeping only 2-3 hrs per night, staring at a book, not really reading or playing on pc and continually getting killed because I am not aware and tears are just running even now. (damn gald this is not on paper).
To see Josh putting Lewis in the car to take him home last night was difficult, you have to smile and wave goodbye, while your mind and your heart are screaming out. Josh came back about an hour later (20min round trip) and went straight to bed.
Tonight when he came home, he was exhausted more mental than physical and he ate dinner and off to bed.
I know (hope and pray) it will all work out eventually but the journey is going to be draining on every one.
The biggest loser in all this is the beautiful boy Lewis, what effect will this have? In my experience with children from split homes (many of my young referees) they seem to be always searching for something, for some it is stability, some its shared love and some others (quite irrationally) want to know what they did wrong.
I don't know what has caused the split and in my opinion they would both be to blame, both a bit selfish and both rather pigheaded. Neither of these characteristics are good foundations for a lasting relationship; you must be prepared to give and when things are still not working give again.
We celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary on the 17th and had lunch out with 5 of the 6 from the original wedding party: Anne's oldest sister a cancer victim 7 years ago. The day was great and for one of the couples it was the first time we had caught up in over 15 years. Amazing that tow of the other couples were married the following year and we are still all together and despite living in different parts of the state we keep in touch quite regularly. The internet (&skype) are wonderful.
Anyway I must be off and try to get my 3 hours, maybe more who knows
Take care all of you